And It Goes Like This....

is there a limit to starting over in life?.... what did you learn from.... thee first 2 attempts?... what results did you receive?.... how did it end for you?.... like how many times... do you need to start over... just to get it right... sometimes this feeling... can be very stressful... with little to no support system... people don't seem to understand... what that can do to a person's mental health... then you ask yourself... will all this be well worth it... in thee end?... it really takes so much... out of a person... just to have thee strength... to want to start over.... mentally and physically... you're feeling two different types of energy.... moral of this post... i hope... that this start over... is thee last one... and that i truly get where i need to be.... take care beautiful people... - aypohetikvois 

i know we haven't known each other.... for a long period... but in that time period... i feel like we know enough about each other... we have that deep deep connection... so deep that we can feel each other's soul... thee vibe is totally awesomenomenal... we never run out of things to talk about... i've never felt this way about anyone in so long... you give me so much peace, happiness, love and support... thank you for just accepting me in so many ways... at times i may not be all there... but I know where i am when i'm talking to you babe..  i can't predict thee future... but i know i don't have one without you in it... even if this is a poly relationship... i still want you forever and ever babe.... i will never leave you or your side for anything babe... I love and adore thee fukk outta you so much.... thank you so much again my gorgeous butterfly 😘🥰😘🥰

why i can't be happy... with what i have... why do I let thee right people go... and let thee wrong people stay... why does love hurt like... it's actually pain... why is it hard for me... to be positive... in a world filled with negativity... or be positive around people... who bring negativity energy... why do I always get attached... to thee wrong people... why thee ones who always... push me away... with no explanation... why do I make people feel uncomfortable... why do I feel important to... people who they feel important... are not available... why love anything at all...

 it's been awhile... since I wrote a poem like this... take some metaphors and let them rhyme together... and if it feels right, then i've realized... may sound good to others, but not to you... cause i've been waiting.... for a shot like this... but every time... a good shot... is a bad miss... close.... but no cigar... I'm gettin' sick and tired of these writer's block... it's been awhile... since I wrote a poem like this... I try to write with emotions... and not with anger... thee dream is big... but thee reality is small.. I expressed my feelings... but yet you still blocked them... and i'm gettin' sick and tired of these writer's block it's been a while... since i wrote a poem like this... and i still can't seem... to put these words together... I can feel my patience wearin' thin... its either get them out... or keep them locked... either way... i'm gettin' sick and tired of these writer's block 

 thee sound of music... can be very therapeutic... it relives your past... explains your presence... then talks about your future... music reveals thee bad... thee good... in yourself... it speaks to you... from different preference of life... but sometimes... at some point... it could hurt... and heal you... at thee same time... but... it never lies to you... music is a drug... a never ending overdose... when you have nobody... to talk to... or anybody to listen... thee sound of music.. will just do both.... music has saved my life... to be honest... I don't know where I would be... without thee sound of beautiful music... so to those... who think there's nobody out there... who would listen to them... just know... thee sound of beautiful music... will talk and listen to you.... at all times... thee world would be a better place... if everybody had some beautiful music... in their ears....

-calls 911- "911 what's your emergency?" there's really no emergency, just need to vent... "you don't have family or friends?" they don't understand my feelings sometimes i don't really tell them how i truly feel or what i'm going through "why is that sir?" i don't want them to worry about me for thee wrong reasons i hide my pain with a fake smile... i think my thoughts out loud, with no sound "do you feel people only hear and don't listen?" People only hear your heart but won't listen to your pain some people think you're selfish when you chose peace over stress you see, I let my feelings keep my pain silent for 2 years now I must let it be heard "would doing this make you feel better?" to be honest, i don't know, you won't get results if you don't try right? I've become a different person thee separation i'm trying to distance myself from pain so i can gwt closer to peace if ...